Sometimes it seems like we have a choice between being eye-candy, or -  nothing. Younger women still come up against sexism in every arena of life; older women have not only sexism but ageism to combat.

One of the most insidious manifestations is what Naomi Wolf calls the “beauty myth.”  In the U.S. and other first world countries, the media use young, gorgeous, thin, dramatically coiffed, white-skinned models almost exclusively in advertisements. Ditto for the fashion industry, only they are even thinner. Movie stars? Basically the same look. Not only that, but these models and actresses are filmed and photographed with professional lighting and makeup - and then the photos are retouched as necessary. That's what we're all supposed to look like. Your actual hair, facial structure, skin color, healthy weight, or age are irrelevant. Sorry. And if you dare to walk around weighing more than the norm, well - it’s still considered within the bounds of political correctness to make jokes about you.  

The reverberations are felt as far away as China, where women have started having plastic surgery to open their eyelids to conform to Western ideals of beauty. Eating disorders are a huge problem for women. Dieting to the point of starving the body of needed nutrients is epidemic, starting with young girls. Cosmetic surgery is on the rise. Clearly, like it or not, we are internalizing this message.
 
“Age rules” are also firmly in place. Even the purely descriptive term “old woman” (forget crone, hag, witch) has a derogatory implication which is not erased by pussyfooting around with terms like “senior.”

A lot of ageism today is invisible, as racism and sexism also were before courageous people started taking action to raise consciousness. It’s disguised in low expectations of older people, in friendly but patronizing attitudes, in the doctor’s assumption that one is untreatably senile rather than simply dehydrated or undernourished.

It’s so odd that all of us are growing old, and yet we still hold these stereotypes about old people - meaning people older than we are. And when we ourselves join that group, if we don’t abandon our prejudices, we apply the stereotypes against ourselves just as thoughtlessly and destructively as others do. One observer noticed that often patients in nursing homes who can walk distance themselves from those who need walkers, and those with walkers still feel superior to those who are bedridden.

These "rules" represent one area where we can ultimately change the culture just by changing ourselves: cultivating the self-acceptance that allows us to let go of these destructive attitudes and stop accepting or excusing them in others.