 Lawrence LeShan, Ph.D. 1994
Just about everyone could benefit from reading this book. It’s only about cancer in the sense that a person with the illness suddenly has a life-or-death reason to start paying attention to who she is and what she individually needs to become whole and happy. Why wait until the alarms start going off and the firefighters are breaking the doors down?
Sometimes called the father of mind-body medicine, and author of many wonderful books, Dr. LeShan has been working in the field of holistic medicine for more than 45 years as a research and clinical psychologist, and has been a pioneer in research with cancer patients for more than 35 years. His results have taught him that more than anything it is the growing conviction of the patient that his or her life is worth fighting for, that this unique and special person is worth saving, that mobilizes the immune system.
Written for patients, therapists, and families and friends of patients (which has got to be almost everyone with current cancer rates), the book clarifies the goals of therapy for those with cancer. He points out that culturally we all have an expectation of how therapy works which is still based on the analytic model of what is wrong with us, how we got that way, and what can be done about it. For cancer patients, this doesn’t work.
The definition we are using here is essentially that of the psychiatrist Karen Horney: ‘A process in which the uniqueness, the individuality, the neurosis itself, is moved from the front of the patient's face where it acts as blinders … to the back of the neck where it acts as an outboard motor!’
This type of therapy depends on a real "encounter," a real contact between therapist and client. The therapist must, moreover, care intensely, believe in the importance of and be involved in the special growth, the individual becoming, of the patient. By his or her faith, the therapist tries to lead the patient to give up fears and anxieties, concern about "success" and the opinions of others, and ultimately become concerned about his or her own authentic development.
There are certainly some individuals who can embark on this exploration without the aid of a psychotherapist. To use an old analogy, it is better, if you are crossing a mountain range, to have an experienced guide who knows the area and has been over it before. However, some people have crossed it alone, some in groups and some with maps (in the form of books like this, techniques such as specially adapted meditations, and so forth). However, many of us need a good guide.
"Come now," we might say to a patient, "let us suppose that God is an existentialist! One day an Angel comes to visit you. The Angel says that they have learned long ago that they must design an individual Heaven for each arrival there. There is no particular hurry in your case, but their computers are down and they are trying to stay as far ahead as they usually do. Therefore they are asking each person to design his or her own Heaven. How would you design a way of life for you that you will enjoy for a long period of time? One in which you will relate, create, give, take, express yourself, in the right way for you, the way that you are built and designed for?"
Obviously this particular phrasing would be used with people of particular intellectual backgrounds. However, the general approach is not so conditioned. I have, as the case histories scattered throughout this book indicate, used it with individuals of a very wide variety of economic, social, and educational backgrounds with equal success.
"Or suppose," we might say, "you suddenly find out that there is reincarnation and that furthermore you can choose now how and where you will be reincarnated. The choice is yours and you can direct your future life from here. Tell me about your choice. It is an entire life that you are setting yourself up for so make sure it is one that you would enjoy."
Or "Let's look at your life as a novel of which you were the author. Now the publisher calls you and says that they want to bring out a second edition. It is a curious and unusual fact of this particular publishing house that you have to live through whatever you write. They say it keeps their writers on their toes! Let's you and I get into the rewrite. First, what are the things you want to change for the second edition? Then we will talk about the things you want to keep the same."
Or perhaps something on the line of "Let's us, you and I, pretend for a while that you really care about yourself. That you are a friend to you and know you very well and love you. And that you—as this friend—have the power to give a gift of a year: to organize a year for you that would be the best gift you can design; that would give you the best year possible. Tell me about what the year would be like." (p. 44-45)
Aren't these stimulating exercises for everyone to do? With equal parts self-discipline and self-love, at least some of us can manage to take these questions seriously even if we haven’t been told by solemn people in white coats that we’re heading out soon.
LeShan focuses on the mind-body connection, but assumes conventional rather than alternative cancer treatment. The excellent chapter on How to Survive in a Hospital analyzes the effect on one’s ability to get well of the powerful expectation by medical personnel that one should be a “good patient,” which means a patient who doesn’t cause trouble, doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t refuse any treatment that any doctor offers for any reason.
“When you enter a hospital for a procedure or a set of procedures, you are immediately subject to a routine whose effect is to strip you of all signs and symbols of your autonomous adult status and make you into a passive, dependent, childlike person who will not question or oppose those in authority. You can no longer decide what you will wear or eat, or go anywhere alone (often not even to the bathroom). Strangers take complete authority over your life and destiny, order you to wake up or go to sleep, turn over to be examined or washed, and generally act as if you are a not-too-bright child and they are adults.”
He points out that despite the goodwill of many medical professionals, a hospital is just a business selling products to make a profit, run mostly for the convenience of the staff. He recommends that one always dispute everything that seems questionable or unnecessary, and assume that mistakes will be made unless, preferably with the help of an advocate, you can prevent them.
In his experience, when the floor nurses grumble about a demanding patient, that patient has a much higher chance of survival than the one who is always “nice.” (See also When the Body Says No on this subject). For this new situation, he says, you need to have a plan, and he outlines the information you need to have the questions you or your advocate need to be prepared to ask and get the answers.
Chapters on the problem of despair in many cancer patients, the holistic approach minimizing "burnout", how to be with the person who is dying, different kinds of meditation are all insightful and compassionate. Included at the end of this updated edition is a workbook of very creative exercises which have been proven to help LeShan’s patients in their therapeutic process of self-discovery and re-starting their life motors. Also see Energy Medicine section for help making those life changes happen.
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