You have ideas, opinions and answers which are useful for others, so the membership site has a discussion forum to share our concerns and solutions. Let me begin the conversation by summarizing the seeds of thought that became the driving force behind the creation of this website.

We each choose how we give our lives meaning. We all know that we each need to find  and follow our own drumbeat. But one of the things we have largely lost is the time to think and feel. The American “culture” is almost completely given over to the idea of working to get more “stuff,” and seducing us into being “entertained”- often by astonishingly negative, even perverse, news and media productions. In other words, distracting us from what is most important, and then creating substitutes that we need to buy.

This can blur the reality that first world women in the 21st century are the most privileged females ever to have lived on this planet in large numbers. We have unheard-of educational riches and financial power, and enormous control over our destinies, compared to the vast majority of women in the world, now and historically.

The question is, what are we doing with this power? How do we climb out of the emotional, health-related, and lifestyle holes we have fallen into so we can happily beam our light into the world until we keel over, healthy but a little tired, when we’re 100? That is the focus of UnconventionalWoman.com.

WASHING YOUR BRAIN

A belief is a kind of theorem - in mathematics, a statement which has been proved on the basis of previously established statements, such as other theorems, and previously accepted statements, such as axioms. It’s not a fact. In a world after quantum physics, facts themselves become a little slippery. But while it is active, a belief might as well be a fact - it governs our thoughts and behavior just as if it were.

However, if the underpinnings are called into question, the belief will be shaken. Beliefs can function as impregnable fortresses for years, but a sudden insight or new understanding can dissolve them with one breath.

These apparently strong but actually fragile structures dominate our lives – they dictate how we see and hear and sense our reality, what we are allowed to do and say, and then how we interpret our experience afterward. Bathing your brain means cleaning out what is not useful, escaping out of that dusty old attic and letting the sunlight shine! We explore this in depth in the membership site.

MEANING AND PURPOSE

Currently we are in the midst of a financial crisis that was brought on by an unregulated system, greed, ignorance on every level, lack of common sense, indifference to the welfare of others, fear of doing something different...on both the individual and the corporate level. This crisis was fueled by by the desire for more...more money, more status, more power, more possessions. A "growth economy"  is based on the proposition that everyone needs and will keep working for and buying more "stuff."

Of course, there is no product that can help us find what is important. Only relationships, ideas and experiences, plus our own intense desire, can help us. Bottom line, every single choice we make either nourishes the discovery and fulfillment of our purpose - or starves it.

One approach is to step off the beaten track and begin to seriously listen to what’s inside instead of what’s outside. Unplug from the newscasters voracious for more dismal news; turn off the ranting, the constant analysis, the highly commercialized products that pass for entertainment, to find the ideas and experiences that move us inward. Here you'll find substantial books and ideas to stimulate your exploration, as well as other women members who have the same desire.

REWRITING THE CULTURAL RULES

Women are beaten with both ends of the beauty stick. The images and concepts which surround us typify a standardized ideal of beauty which is impossible to achieve at all for most of us, and hopeless for all of us after our 20’s. To look our best, to grow younger internally instead of older--yes! But to occupy our precious time and resources to look young at any cost - ??

Intellectually we don't subscribe to these ideas. We know the purpose of advertising! Nevertheless, in some part of our brains, the program runs by itself - and we often can’t help comparing ourselves to the women around us and to the ideal which is so lavishly and so constantly promoted.

Then we may feel inadequate; we watch helplessly as our bodies inevitably change and grow farther every year from the ideal of beauty that is seared into our brains. This drain on our self-esteem continuously leaks the life energy that we could be using to create our lives and nurture ourselves and the ones we love.

And then, as we age, we fall through that sieve altogether and become more and more invisible. The unconscious ageism of most western cultures is shocking, and we all contribute to it with our private thoughts if not with our actions.

Accepting this program is massively destructive on every level. It drains our confidence and pleasure in life. It depletes our financial resources if we get on the cosmetic or surgical merry-go-round. It causes or contributes to the “diseases of aging” by creating severe emotional crises of self-devaluation. Refusing to accept the program requires radical revision of our thinking,

HEALTH

We have massive amounts of information, and it is totally confusing. Doctors, researchers, and practitioners of all kinds, with many years of education and experience, simply do not agree on healing treatments. And the picture has been obscured for decades by powerful financial interests in the medical and food industries pushing their own agendas through the media.

In fact, although there are protocols for the treatment of every illness, there is not yet one universally accepted answer to the question of how one stays healthy, or how one recovers from a given illness—we are individuals, chemically, energetically, and psychologically. There is, however, the answer which works for you. The bottom line is that we need to examine our beliefs about heath and aging, re-educate ourselves about what is available, and find what our individual bodies require by paying attention.

There are numerous effective ways to approach health, and some of the safest and most effective are most likely beyond the sphere of knowledge of your mainstream doctor. You will find a large number of selected health resources here. Here is a chart (click to enlarge) which may help make sense of the vast amount of alternative health information out there, much of which is explored inside the site. Teleseminars availalble to members will introduce you to powerful new energy therapies and teach you how to use them to increase your emotional and physical health.

WORK AND MONEY

Work is what provides the means for us to live the life that makes sense to us. Ideally, the work itself is fulfulling. Now the livelihoods of many of us are threatened or already damaged. All predictions are that we will have a tough time of it.

However, it's evident now that this collapse was inevitable. The idea that we have financial institutions with integrity is history; the foundation of trust has rotted. We need to deal with it as best we can. At times like this our real priorities can become very clear, and if we keep our eyes and hearts (and words) focused on our most important goals, and let go of what is not working, new paths can open up.

RELATIONSHIP

We already know, and both psychological and biological studies have proven, that in order to be happy and healthy we need intimate contacts with fellow human beings—we need real friends. According to the authors of A General Theory of Love, “our nervous systems are not self-contained; from earliest childhood our brains actually link with those of the people close to us in a silent rhythm that makes up the life force of the body.”

Marla Paul (The Friendship Crisis) reports that when Dr. Redford Williams (director of the Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke University) studied more than 1000 patients with coronary heart disease for five years, he and his team discovered that married patients survived longer than unmarried patients. But then they divided the unmarried patients into two categories – those with and without a close friend or confidante. Within those groups they found a dramatic difference. Half of the patients who were unmarried and did not have a confidante were dead within five years. About 85% of the unmarried patients with a confidante were still alive – the same survival rate as married individuals with a confidante.

It’s not a marriage per se that’s protective of health, but positive close relationships. An intimate relationship that is negative can be more destructive than being alone. Finding new friends and building closer relationships with those we have, especially as we head past middle age, is worth any amount of time and effort.